I Didn't Know Better
Written by Anthony G. Martinez
No matter how old I get I’m still not ready to see your face again What you did Blame me for everything when I was just a kid I’m sorry I wanted you to live I didn’t know better Tell me what I did Just don’t keep reminding me I’m the reason for your suffering I get it I tried to fix what I did But my love wasn’t enough, and I felt inadequate I kept blaming myself Hating myself I pitted against myself I no longer liked myself I was always seeking your affection because I always felt guilty for what I did And what if I were to see you again and I’m reminded of how you made me felt as a kid Like I wasn’t enough Like I didn’t deserve your love I did what I did because I loved you, mom I didn’t want to be motherless at the age of 10 Because I still needed you to help me grow up to be the perfect gentleman